Elizabeth Jean Dellinger McCoy

February 2, 2022

CHARLOTTE- Elizabeth Jean (Bettie) Dellinger McCoy passed away peacefully on Tuesday, February 2, 2022, at Sharon Towers, her home since 2005.  Bettie was born in Gastonia, NC on January 31, 1932, to Jacob Cedric and Meta Stanton Dellinger.  After spending her childhood in Gastonia and graduating from Gastonia High School, she graduated from Erskine College in Due West, South Carolina.

In 1950 while attending Erskine College, Bettie met the love of her life and best friend, William Francis (Bill) McCoy.  After three years of courtship, they married in 1953 and in her words, “We were blessed with 50 wonderful years together!”.   With joy and total commitment, she raised two daughters, Marsha, and Jan.  After raising her daughters, she began a teaching career in elementary education which initially was to be a short-term endeavor that lasted 25 years.

Bettie was an active member of The Grove Church (formerly Hickory Grove Presbyterian Church) in Charlotte, NC for 58 years. She served in many capacities which included Presbyterian Women, Women’s Circle, teaching Sunday School and Bible School, delivering Friendship Trays, Room in the Inn and church fellowship.  She was honored to be presented a Presbyterian Women’s Lifetime Membership for her many years of service.  Bettie also enjoyed her involvement as a member of Delta Kappa Gamma Teacher’s Society which has a strong commitment to supporting underserved communities.

Bettie, “Mom Mom”, was a gracious and loving wife, mother, grandmother, great - grandmother aunt, and friend.  She was the epitome of a true Southern lady - kind and gentle with an inner strength of steel, who loved her family beyond measure.  Her strong love for her Lord was evident in the way she lived out her faith in her daily life.  She saw the good in all circumstances and in everyone she encountered.  No matter who you were, you were treated with courtesy, kindness, and respect.  With a true heart of gold, it is no surprise she was an activist for the least heard and most underserved.

Among many things that brought joy to her heart, at the top of the list would have to be hosting family gatherings at her homes in Charlotte and Lake Norman.  Numerous other cherished activities included playing cards and games with friends, watching ACC basketball, working crossword puzzles, and following current events and politics. Her five grandchildren and seven great - grandchildren were her pride and joy.  She never missed an opportunity to be their cheerleader at all events.

Her deep abiding faith and total trust in God’s plan guided her through her life’s long journey.  She faithfully weathered many health issues and lived her life with grace, resilience, and courage.

She taught us all that living a life full of enduring faith, unconditional love, humility, tolerance, patience, and perseverance created a life well worth living. These characteristics will be her legacy that will live within our hearts forever.

Bettie is survived by her daughters, Marsha McCoy Stiegel and her husband, Dr. Mark Stiegel, and Meta Janet (Jan) McCoy Rowe and her husband, Roy; five grandchildren, Matthew Stiegel (Tricia), Anna Stiegel Glass (Scott), Evan Stiegel (Amy), Taylor Rowe and Madison Rowe Parker (Austin); seven great-grandchildren, Elizabeth, Catherine, Russell and Nash Stiegel and Scott, McCoy, and Bettie Glass, sister-in-law, Frances McCoy and numerous nieces and nephews.

The family wishes to express their deep gratitude to Sharon Towers, Dr. Carl Fisher and the staff at Fresenius Matthews Dialysis Center, Dr. John Symanski, Dr. Michael Friedland and dear friends Johnna Long and Betrinia Crawford for the loving care that was shown to Bettie.

A private graveside service for the family will be held at 2:00 PM on Thursday, February 10, 2022.  Please join the family via live stream at  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83189404454?pwd=T09YWTNacWYrQW8waFAyQmN1L25DQT09

In lieu of flower memorials may be offered in memory of Bettie to: Sharon Towers, Residents’ Assistance Fund, 5100 Sharon Rd, Charlotte, NC 28210, (www.sharontowers.org) or  The Grove Church, 5735 East W.T. Harris Blvd, Charlotte, NC 28215 (www.thegrovecharlotte.org) or National Kidney Foundation, 7413 Six Forks Rd #255, Raleigh, NC 27615 (www.kidney.org), Hospice & Palliative Care Charlotte Region, 7845 Little Ave, Charlotte, NC 28226  (www.hpccr.org)

Arrangements are in the care of Kenneth W. Poe Funeral & Cremation Service, 1321 Berkeley Ave., Charlotte, NC; 28204 (704) 641-7606. Online condolences can be shared at www.kennethpoeservices.com.

Share your memories & condolences


  • Carolyn Peel

    Dear Marsha and Jan
    You both know how much I loved and respected your mom and Dad. I was the fortunate teacher at Oakhurst School in the 70’s that got to team teach with your mom. We shared educational practices, love our little students and ended the day with our own family escapades. Sharing our life experiences always left us laughing and wondering what the next day would bring! As our families grew and changed we continued to stay in touch making us longtime friends. Joe and I send our most heartfelt love and sympathy to you and your families. Your parents were the BEST!
    Love Carolyn and Joe Peel

  • Mac McCall

    Marsha and Jan,
    I just saw where your Mom passed away and wanted you to know how sorry I am to hear this. I think about all of you so often and remember laughing with you Mom about different things and talking to her about teaching - since my wife Debbie taught with her at Oakhurst. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers! Even though, we don't see one another - please know that each of you and Mom and Dad are a special part of my life that I will always remember and will never forget! With much love, Mac